How can group therapy help you? Part one — Universality

One of the primary issues that keeps people out of therapy is the feeling that they are alone in what they think, feel, and do. We might think that a certain thought we have makes us “bad,” a feeling that we have makes us “too much,” or that something we’ve done makes us unforgivable. You can quickly see why many might choose to dismiss or downplay their mental health concerns, leading to toxic shame, hiding, and unhealthy coping mechanisms (e.g., alcohol, porn) to help deal with these unpleasant experiences. The unfortunate thing about these coping styles is that they are likely to lead to loneliness, a psychological issue that underpins a great deal of human suffering. In other words, it’s really painful to suffer, but it’s a whole other type of pain to suffer in isolation. This is where group can help alleviate so much of the suffering, regardless of the underlying emotional issue.

I cannot even begin to tell you the number of times a new member has come into a group of mine and shared a deep, dark, personal secret of which they were convinced they were the only person on earth who could identify with, only to find one or two other members instantaneously say, “yeah, me, too.” The relief is palpable in the room, and group members are quickly able to let their guard down and start having more meaningful, heartfelt interactions with one another. This small process helps relieve some of the emotional tension we carry around, helping us feel lighter, more accepted and understood, and more able to be vulnerable. This is universality in action. Specified by Irvin Yalow and Molyn Leszcz (two of the pioneers in group therapy research), “universality” refers to the principle that occurs in group therapy when group members realize they are not alone in the struggles (e.g., “Hey, we’re all in the same boat!”), thereby allowing them to open up and form deep and meaningful connections with others while having a better ability to practice self-acceptance and self-compassion.

So how could joining a group be helpful for you? If you’re wondering deep down if the thought you’re having is “too bad” to share with others, whether your feelings are “too much” for others, or wondering whether you are worthy of love and connection — Obtaining a sense of “Universality” in a group will help you not feel so alone. I am of the belief that we humans don’t do well when we walk around life carrying a bunch of secrets and hidden knowledge about ourselves. I’d highly suggest you consider giving group therapy a chance. It may just change your life.

Check out my group therapy page if you're interested in my group offerings.

Reference: Yalom, I. D., & Leszcz, M. (2021). The theory and practice of group psychotherapy. Basic Books.