Relational Trauma

I specialize in helping people heal “relational trauma.” Folks who have experienced relational trauma struggle to feel good about themselves, feel happy and settled in life, to create and sustain healthy relationships, and really struggle to have satisfying careers. Likewise, they often report a severe inner critic, have emotional flashbacks, and feel overwhelmed by feelings such anger, guilt, shame, rage, and chronic depression. Sadly, this often leads people to feel lost, in pain, and alone. In fact, many people who have experienced relational trauma are unaware of it until they begin to read about or come to therapy.

People who have endured relational trauma oftentimes have a childhood marked by emotional misattunement (others not correctly reading and responding to their emotional needs), emotional neglect, emotional or physical abuse, and confusing relationships with others. Typically, those with relational trauma had caregivers who might have been harsh, strict, less warm, more emotionally enmeshed or punitive (bad boundaries), or simply too consumed with their own issues or trauma to correctly “attune” to the needs of the child. Sometimes, this trauma results from some major personal or family trauma (e.g., divorce, death, major illness of a family member).

So how does relational trauma affect us in adulthood? This can show up in many ways, some of which include:

• Emotional "flashbacks,” which are sudden and overwhelming experiences of emotion tied to unprocessed emotional experiences.

• Difficulty regulating emotions (e.g., feeling constantly overwhelmed by anxiety and fear)

• Chronic shame and guilt (e.g., constantly beating yourself up)

• Having rocky, chaotic interpersonal relationships over-and-over

• Difficulty depending on others (e.g., emotionally)

• Discomfort with emotional intimacy and problems maintaining healthy relationships

• Feeling “empty” on the inside and struggling with identity issues

• Worrying about interpersonal abandonment, rejection, criticism, etc.

• Excessive need for approval, being overly submissive or suggestible

Are you wondering if you have experienced relational trauma and would like to know how therapy can help you? Give me a call and we can discuss whether therapy with me can help you feel happier and more free in life.